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Thursday, September 19th, 2002
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Fine.
I hate things about you.
i hate that i can't hate you
i hate that i can't not care
i hate that you wish i didn't.
-gina
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Comments: 5 Stupid-Heads - Don't Be Stupid.
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Wednesday, September 18th, 2002
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Tuesday, September 17th, 2002
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Lets get this post started off, with me saying something about my french teacher-
Madame Rebman Is a crazy woman, with one of the worst french accents this side of the Atlantic.
Now that we've got that out of the way, I love The Donnas, and i nearly punched a kid in school for saying 'The Donnas, god i hate them' when i askedh im why, he said it was because the lead singer has a full figure. Grrr..guys your such assholes sometimes. I nearly socked him, as i said earlier, but, I';'m very easy to tick off in social studies...dumb..-mutters more-
So, the rest of my day was disgustingly easy. Even piano..
I practiced all of three hours these past two weeks. Abnd managed to learn -
Two Tori Amos songs (China and Winter...)
A new Chopin Prelude
and the first to pages of a Chopin Etude..
and my teacher was RAVING..
someone for the love of god motivate me, tell me to stop wasting my talent..grr..im sucha fucking dumbass..the ONE thing im good at..and i dont do it enough...
So Cindy ((my piano teacher...)) She's pretty much told me that the recital is going to either be :
The second week of november ((not likely))
November 24, or 28
or. maybe..probably
December 2..
anyone wanna come and cheer me on ^_^ - c'mon..you know you want to...respond if you want too! -wails-
also this is important alright i need help picking out a haloween costume, as well as a cosplay costume.
Ideas? then RESPOND alright? alright..so anyway, here's my convo with Liz on her thinking up an idea for my haloween costume
Mooncrazed16: hee hee, it's been a while too
Mooncrazed16: weee, I got my halloween wig!
Mooncrazed16: have you decided? ((meaning on my halloween costume))
Mooncrazed16: *pokes*
pink punker cat: NO
pink punker cat: your supposed to help me!
Mooncrazed16: I TRIED!
Mooncrazed16: LOL
Mooncrazed16: your very picky
Mooncrazed16: but I am looking for you, seriously
pink punker cat: i love you liz!!!
Mooncrazed16: :-* shucks
Mooncrazed16: how evil do you want to be exactly?
pink punker cat: erm
pink punker cat: as evil as it has to be so that im cooool
pink punker cat: lol
Mooncrazed16: ok, I can work with that
pink punker cat: but mysterious
pink punker cat: not blatant evil
pink punker cat: mysterious evil -nods-
Mooncrazed16: ahhhh
Mooncrazed16: ok, got ya
pink punker cat: or plotting insane genious evil is cool too
pink punker cat: but notr dumb evil
pink punker cat: has to be smart evil -laughs-
Mooncrazed16: so not Sailor Moon evil then LOL
there ARE different kinds of evil..see...ooh..okay, im going to go..wander around cyberspace, and amuse myself by calling margaret a plant.
pink punker cat: TALK
pink punker cat: heh
pink punker cat: -dances-
BunnyBean: about what?
BunnyBean: I'm eating
pink punker cat: you dont need food! you perform photosynthesis
BunnyBean: do not
pink punker cat: do so
BunnyBean: and you would know?
pink punker cat: im a plant psychic
BunnyBean: yeah, but I'm not a plant
pink punker cat: shush
BunnyBean: if I did perform photosythesis, I would be more like a euglena than an actual plant
pink punker cat: this is true
BunnyBean: duh
pink punker cat: oh
pink punker cat: hush.
pink punker cat: plant.
BunnyBean: then how can I type if I am a plant?
pink punker cat: you have plant tenticles
BunnyBean: so?
BunnyBean: that's make believe
pink punker cat: nooo
pink punker cat: !!!!
BunnyBean: yyyeeeeeeesssss!!!
pink punker cat: Its REAL
pink punker cat: REAL
BunnyBean: nope
pink punker cat: YOUR make believe
BunnyBean: nope, I'm real
pink punker cat: nope
pink punker cat: I'm real
pink punker cat: your just a plant - see, it makes purr-fect sense.
so, yes, YEAY for me being HEALTHY again, and in a good mood..speaking of healthy..i have a lot of muscle relaxants left over..what to do with them *ponder*
If your still reading this post - you get erm, candy! but you need to comment -shifty eyes- if you DON'T well, you suck, and you DON'T get candy...arhum..
-gina..
-mew?
The Donnas, the marathon, part un*
40 boys in 40 nights
Spendin every night in a different state
Spendin every night with a different date
I come into town and have a look around
And then I find a guy who wants to get down
I got boys all over the road
I got boys helpin me unload
Forty boys in forty nights
I got no time to see the sights
Sometimes I nibble and sometimes I bite
I kinda sorta wanna get skintite
Have some now save some for later
But there's no cute boys in decater
I got boys all over the road
I got boys helpin me unload
Forty boys in forty nights
I got no time to see the sights
Makin out all night in hollywood
You know I'd do 'em all if I could
My honey in Stuttgart doesn't care
That I collect their underwear
I got boys all over the road
I got boys helpin me unload
Forty boys in forty nights
I got no time to see the sights
Get Rid of That Girl
See that boy he looks so fine
But he's got a girlfriend my oh my
kill kill kill
I'm gonna hit her in the head
I'm gonna knock her down
I'm gonna drag her by the hair all over town
I'm gonna get get get get rid of that girl
I'm gonna get get get get rid of that girl
I'm gonna get get get get rid of that girl tonight
Her hair? so blond and her nails' so long
So I put my Mabelines record on
Kill Kill Kill
I'm gonna drag her ass down to my car
I'm gonna use that Matchlight Mountain Dew crush
I'm gonna get get get get rid of that girl
I'm gonna get get get get rid of that girl
I'm gonna get get get get rid of that girl tonight
Everytime I see him he's with she
Gonna make her legs all wobbly
I can't wait to puncture her chains
Then that boy will be all for me
So when we pass by her house
On the way to school
He'll no longer say how she's so cool to me.
Get rid of that girl
Get rid of that girl
See that boy he looks so fine
But he's got a girlfriend my oh my
kill kill kill
I'm gonna hit her in the head
I'm gonna knock her down
I'm gonna drag her by the hair all over town
I'm gonna get get get get rid of that girl
I'm gonna get get get get rid of that girl
I'm gonna get get get get rid of that girl tonight
get rid of that girl(kill kill kill)
get rid of that girl(kill kill kill)
get rid of that girl(kill kill kill)
get rid of that girl(kill kill kill)
Outta My Mind
I'm ready to rip it up.
Yeah, I'm ready to let it go.
I gotta turn up the action,
And get some rock 'n' roll.
Don't got no time to waste,
I'm a rocket that's ready to blow,
'Cause I'm gonna be chasing the night,
So turn up the radio.
'Cause I'm gonna be out on the streets.
Yeah, we're gonna be out all night.
We're going to be checkin' it out,
Alright. Alright.
Chorus:
'Cause I'm gonna be outta my mind.
Yeah, I'm gonna be outta my head.
Yeah, I'm gonna be outta my mind.
Yeah, I'm gonna be outta bed.
Yeah, I'm gonna be outta my mind.
Yeah, I'm gonna be outta bed.
Tonight.
Are you ready to party with me?
Are you ready to give me some sin?
'Cause I've been waiting all night long,
So come on and stick it in.
Don't got no time to waste,
I'm a rocket that's ready to blow,
'Cause I'm gonna be chasing the night,
So turn up the radio.
'Cause I'm gonna be out on the streets.
Yeah, we're gonna be out all night.
We're going to be checkin' it out,
Alright. Alright.
Chorus
Tonight, tonight, tonight,tonight.
Tonight, tonight, tonight,tonight.
Yeah, I'm gonna be out tonight.</i>
okay..okay
Im done
te-he...
*thats french for one..
buh bye...
ack! important notice
PhdDrDork: Mm, I don't even know what your lj name is.
pink punker cat: this is true
pink punker cat: lol
PhdDrDork: And unless the quote "just thrust" is on there, it's not REAL Gina =)
pink punker cat: -laughs-
pink punker cat: shall i go edit it and put it in there for you?
PhdDrDork: Yes!
and as you can see..
I did.
bye bye...again
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Comments: 4 Stupid-Heads - Don't Be Stupid.
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Monday, September 16th, 2002
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So,
I'm not dead..turned out i dont have meningitus..hooray for that. I had a combinatuion of a virus, plus exhaustion and far too much stress.
So i got muscle relaxants and an order to stay on bed for two days..donig nothing but staring at either the television, or a ceiling.
so this weekend reallly sucked.
my only consolation is that i was correct abotu Michelle going to Nero. She thoughroughly sucked, and I was right about her suckiness.
Stupid lil..grrr...anyway
im better now. I go to school tomorrow..everything be happy yeay yeay yeay!
Laura visited me while I was sick, and i don't think she realized how much stupid stuff like that means to me.
Or how much she means to me..i gotta make her figure that out.
Liking someone hundreds of miles away really sucks. I gotta figure out what im gonna do..fuckin hundred so miles..-mutters-
ANYWAY!
my neck hurts..
im going to go..wander around..try not to cry..'cause for some reason i really feel like crying.
I can feel autumn creeping in to my skin..i really hate it.
-Gina
-cut me a little deeper
Kittie - Paperdoll
I Look At her In That Paper Dress.
I Wonder Why She Won't Burn.
She's Just A Paper Doll,
Thats All, Just A Paper Doll.
I Dress Her Up She Knocks Me down [2x]
They Try Her On For Size, she Fits Nice.
One Size Fits All [2x]
Now Her Soul Is Dead, Now Her Bodies Raw,
You Can Numb Her Pain
Watch The Blood Run Down Her Face.
But Dont Take Notice.
Watch The Blood Run Down Her Arms.
Please Don't Take Notice.
I Know You Have Her Soul.
(and) I See It In Your Eyes.
She Knows You Have Her Soul.
(and) She Sees It In Your Eyes.
Now Her Soul Is Dead, Now Her Bodies Raw,
WASH AWAY HER PAIN
She Wants You To Eat Her Pain.
She Wants You To Eat Her Remains [2x]
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Comments: Don't Be Stupid.
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Saturday, September 14th, 2002
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Today was the day from hell. Hell Hell Hell hellity hell hell. Hell when satan has pms.
thats how bad it was.
Speaking of pms..i have it.
lovely - isn't it.
On top of that im sick as a dog and vomiting about once an hour, whether there is anything in my stomach or not. Add tot hat a killer headache and joints that won't stop aching, with a pinch of dizzyness.
And I'm cranky.
Did I mention I actually attempted going to school today?
I did, sat through chemistry
then vomited for about 50 minutes on and off.
oh, yea, and then i was supposed to go to Nero this weekend, which ive been looknig forward to, like all fucking hell...grrr..grrr..grr and double grr.
so, then a bunch of bad shit happens....and i really didn't want to talk to much of anyone - except nate.
o-o
'cause nate rocks my socks.
anyway - got shit in rp-land...didn't need that. But now im talking to Mrs. Comptonm, being very entertained.
heh...anyway
this defines the mentality of the masses at my school:
jin·go·ism Pronunciation Key (jngg-zm)
n.
Extreme nationalism characterized especially by a belligerent foreign policy; chauvinistic patriotism
________
I need an AK 47 that shoots inteligence instead of bullets.
this post was intterrupted twice for me to perfrom reverse peristalsis.
mmh mmh good.
stomach acid.
-Gina
Everclear - Like a Whore
I take your word like it was gospel
I'm so eager to please
yeah I like it when
you talk to me
it feels so good inside your shadow
(it's the place I need to be)
yeah I know I need to climb you
like a tree
there is this place inside
where all the good things die
sometimes I feel like a whore
(sometimes I feel like a whore)
I hate the way I am around you
(I'm so nervous and weird)
sometimes I feel like I'm
breathing underwater
you treat me like I am on fire
like I'm something to eat
you make me hate what I see
when I see me
yeah I dream of the day
when I learn how to make you pay
someday I'll teach you to beg
someday, someday
yes I live for the day
when I can hear you say
you make me feel like a whore
yes I dream of the time
when I can make you mine
(maybe then I'll feel half alive, more
alive, so alive)
there is this place inside
where all the good things die
you make me feel like a whore
p.s. i fucking hate all you healthy people
p.p.s. every man should have to expierience the excrutiating torture of PMS cramps.
p.p.p.s - LOOK me in my nero costume
okay
that is all
you may really go now
-Gina
-again
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Comments: 1 Stupid-Head - Don't Be Stupid.
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Friday, September 13th, 2002
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So,
today has just been extremely rotten on uber-rotten levels. I woke up with a headache, again, I've had a cosntant headache for four-five days now. Plus, last nigth was horrible too..Im sorry nate..
so, im sick as a dog. mom feels like a jerk for letting me go to school today..but..i wanted to go.
im sorry nate.
Im sick...vomiting every few hours. My headache is worse..and my neck is killing me...my mom is forcing me to the doctor/hospital
thinks i have meningitus ((sp?))
Im so stressed, this is the LAST fucking thing i need..Last..
god damn it.
my ear has decided to hurt too...
if im not around for awhile, this is for my friends online - they have stuck me in a hospital facility or something equally shitty.
lets pray that i am right, as i usually am.
-gina
Vanessa Carlton - Ordinary Day
Just a day,
Just an ordinary day.
Just tryin to get by.
Just a boy,
Just an ordinary boy.
But he was looking towards the sky.
And as he asked if i would come along
I started to realize-
That everyday you find
Just what he's looking for,
Like a shooting star he shines.
He said take my hand,
Live while you can
Don't you see your dreams are right in the palm of your hand
And as he spoke, he spoke ordinary words
Although they did not feel
For I felt what I had not felt before
You'd swear those words could heal.
And I as looked up into those eyes
His vision borrows mine.
And to know he's no stranger,
For I feel I've held him for all of time.
And he said take my hand,
Live while you can
And if we walk now we will divide and conquer this land.
Don't you see your dreams are right in the palm of your hand
Right in the palm of your hand
Please come with me,
See what I see.
Touch the stars for time will not flee.
Time will not flee.
Can you be
Just a dream, just an ordinary dream.
As I wake in bed
And the boy, that boy, that ordinary boy.
Or was it all in my head?
Did he asked if I would come along
It all seemed so real.
But as i looked to the door,
I saw that boy standing there with a deal.
And he said he my take my hand,
Live while you can,
Don't you see your dreams are right in the palm of your hand
Right in the palm of your hand
Right in the palm of your hand
Just a day, just an ordinary day
Jus tryin to get by.
Just a boy,
Just an ordinary boy.
But he was looking to the sky.
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Comments: Don't Be Stupid.
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Saturday, September 7th, 2002
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So summer is over,
School has started, and I'm a sophmore. My classes are all fairly tolerable - with the exception of Spanish, which is a dull dull hell-fest. Stupid..grr..Señora just needs to not talk anymore. Ever.
So, this marks the end of the first "week" of school, here's my schedule.
1st period - Chemistry - the teachers voice belongs ona cheerleading squad, come to think of it, so does she
2nd Period - Spanish - Señore = Dumb, stupid, annoying, and perhaps schitzohprenic
3rd period - English - sooo soo boring
4th period - Gym and Study hall - alternating
5th period - Social Studies - this class makes me feel like a genious
6th period - Lunch - too loud, too many people, bad aroma.
7th period - Math - Mrs. VanArk - she's big 'n dumb.
8th period - Choir - Study Hall - Chem Lab - aleternating, i hate all three
9th period - my saving grace, Intro to Studio Art - althouh the teacher is a moron.
Yea, school is boring, very..people annoy me - im really WAY too antisocial, and err..on to today. School was just :-( as usual, boring, blah, oh, the second day of school i was 2.5 hrs late, cheer me on that one, i was sleeping.
so, i get my hari cut today, marg and Laura come with - that was a disaster at first, then, my mother takes aeons in Home Depot - and im annoyed because Justin was supposed to come over today, and Im thinking now that its so late he wont want to make the hour drive over. So on the way home. like two minutes away I start thing 'what if he's waiting at the house?' and quickly dismiss the thought - rounding the corner to my house, i see whatl ooks like Justins unmistakable white van - i mean the thing is huuuuuge and WHITE - im still like 'hey..noo, can't be'. Turned out it was. Poor boy had been waiting on my porch an hour.
Anyhell, Laura, me, Justin, Margaret, are all inmy house, being hoodlums, my mothers beinga bitch - saying really stupid things..when she leaves. Matt and De stop over, that was fun..then not so fun stuff happened.
Actually it was really shitty and thinking about it is making me pissy and upset - anyhell. I have amazing friends. Laura, Margaret, and Justin. you three, you rock. Yes.
Thank you so much.
and thank you to Nate too.
-gina
Dashboard Confesional - For you to Notice
I'm starting to fashion an idea in my head
where I would impress you
with every single word I said.
Would come out insightful or brave or smooth or charming
and you'd want to call me
And I would be there every time
you'd need me
I'd be there every time...
But for now I'll look so longingly
waiting...
For you to want me, for you need me, for you to notice me
Dashboard Confessional - So Long Sweet Summer
So long sweet summer
I stumbled upon you and gratefully basked in your rays
So long sweet summer
I fell into you
Now you’re gracefully falling our way
Hey thanks
Thanks for that summer
It’s cold where you’re going
I hope that your heart’s always warm
I gave you the best
Gave you the best that I had
You passed on the letters and passed on the best that I had
So long sweet summer
I stumbled upon you and gratefully basked in your rays
So long sweet summer
I fell into you
Now you’re gracefully falling our way
I hate the winter in Lexington
I hate the winter in Lexington
Lexington
Lexington
Lexington
-Gina
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Comments: Don't Be Stupid.
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Monday, September 2nd, 2002
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Tonight has sucked.
lets hope tomorrow is better.
for future reference - do not call me a bitch.
don't do it.
just fucking don't.
-gina
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Comments: Don't Be Stupid.
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Sunday, September 1st, 2002
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Lemme alone, I've got a thing for survey's lately..they amuse me - let it amuse you..c'mon, you know you wanna..on another note GOD DAMN CONSTRUCTION GUYS!!! Jesus, they';re all attractive guys - but even attractive guys can't get away with taking away my sleep when i actually managed to get some.
_________-
01. Cried: God no.
02. Bought something: Errr..no. Wow i need the money.
03. Gotten sick: Yea..yea fucking people suck.
04. Sang: I go around singing all the time - its pretty much what i do.
05. Eaten: Errr...i think so. Oh..yea, raviolli.
06. Been kissed: No - thanks for reminding me. Ass.
07. Felt stupid: Not Stupid, Dorky, and a bit slow though.
08. Wanted to tell someone you loved them, but didn't: No - silly rabbit, love isn't for 15 year olds.
09. Met someone new: NO! new people BAD!
10. Moved on: Actually, yea...
11. Talk to an ex: I talk to him every...fucking....day - whether i want to or not.
12. Missed an ex: HAH! Your a funny little monkey..
13. Talked to someone you have a crush on: Errr...-blinks- shut up.
14. Had a serious talk: Sort of. If being lectured on my thoughts counts. lol.
15. Missed someone: Yea..damn it.
16. Hugged someone: Yup yup ^_^
17. Fought with your parents: Surprisingly - no.
18. Dreamed about someone you can't be with: No no...only nightmares for the G-dawg.
Social Life:
01. Best girl friend: Margaret and Laura.
02. Best guy friend: This is a hard one...probably Mike.
03. Boyfriend/Girlfriend: Errrr - apple?
04. If no, current dating partner: People? Date ME? you've got issues..
05. Hobbies: Piano, Writing, Reading, Rollerblading, Music, being a sarcastic smartass.
06. Pager: EVIL!!!
07. Are you center of attention or the wallflower: depends on who i'm with
08. What type automobile do you drive: None - I'm 15 moron, i don't even have a permit.
09. What type automobile do you wish you drove: Just because they take soo much abuse, a Chevy Lumina
10. Would you rather be with friends or on a date: Right now? I'm with friends all the time, Date please!
11. Where is the best hangout: Margarets house - or my house when mom isn't home.
12. Do you have a job: no....im lazy.
13. Do you attend church: HEHEHEHEHEHEHE...no. If i wanted to get lectured by an old man-pedophile - i could talk to a bunch of the men in my family.
14. Do you like being around people: No. Thats a definite No George
Personal:
01. Who is your role model: Hrm - none.
02. What is some of your pet peeves: When my mother asks me where something is - WITHOUT even looking for it - and when she plays the piano and refuses to agknowledge accidentals..ACK!!! CUT OFF HER FINGERS!!
03. Have you ever liked someone you had no chance with: Of course - when i was 10 i had a crush on Ricky Martin. lol.
04. Have you ever cried over the opposite sex: Oh bite me.
05. Do you have a "type" of person you always go after: Hrm - boys who know how to use swords and weapons...but they also have to be dorky and eccentric. My type of boy is kinda hard to find.
06. Have you ever lied to your best friend(s): errr -thinks- not my best friend. no.
07. Ever wanted to get revenge on someone because they hurt you: ERrr - no comment.
08. Would you rather be dumper or dumped: The dumper. I've only been dumped once. Never again.
09. Rather have a relationship or a "hookup": Hookup - relationships = work.
10. Want someone you don't have right now: Yea...three someones actually.
11. Ever liked your best guy/girl friend: God no.
12. Do you want to get married: marriage = work. no.
13. Do you want kids: I'm not putting any being through what i've gone to on this hell-plane - so no.
14. Do you believe in psychics: Yes - that guy who talks to dead people on Fox -no.
15. Do you believe you know the person whom you will marry at this point in time? According to realiable sources i do. but im not getting married - so that can bugger off.
16. What is your favorite part of your physical appearance: my eyebrows.
17. What is your favorite part of your emotional being: The fact that i crack jokes at very innapropriate times - yea, im wierd.
18. Are you happy with you: God no. I'm 15..of COURSE not.
19. Are you happy with your life: Negative Ghostrider
20. If you could change something in your life right now, what would it be: I want to live with my sister.
[ Current Clothes ] Plaid pants, a Hoodie, and big black boots. With my obligatory bracelets and such.
[ Current Mood ] In need of snuggles and cranky - uber sleepy too.
[ Current Music ] Bathwater - No Doubt
[ Current Taste ] Pink Lemonade
[ Current Make-up ] The sleep in my eyes.
[ Current Hair ] Purple/Brown-black shoulder length.
[ Current Annoyance ] The scratchs on my arm are itching -why the hell is a scratch itching.
[ Current Smell ] -grins-
[ Current thing I ought to be doing ] SLEEPING fucking construction workers
[ Current Desktop Picture ] Nifty picture a friend edited.
[ Current Favorite Group ] Laura, Margaret, Justin and Mike.
[ Current Book you're reading ] Too many.
[ Current CD in CD Player ] I do not know - its at Margarets house.
[ Current DVD in player ] errr - shoe?
[ Current Color Of Toenails ] errr - normal?
[ Current Refreshment ] Pink Lemonade
[ Current Worry ] That I'm going to wake up and have a penis.
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Comments: Don't Be Stupid.
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So,
Thursday and today were AMAZING days. No, no it does NOT have anything to do with a friend of mine coming over and and just having fun.
Just a note for my friends who were over the other day. Margaret, Laura, Justin, Mike. I love you. Because you made me have fun!
ohh..HAPPY BIRTHDAY MIKE!!!
Anyways so I hung out with Justin today - say yeay...mwua ha ha. Cooking is always an adventure - moreso when done with a friend. Also - I will never look at the art in C:tD the same way again - thanks to his bizzare mind. what else - ahh, yes - apparently i occasionally giggle likea blonde airhead - he got hit for that one.
Hrm...yeay for Bad Religion - not yeay for dirty dishes. Alright - im done rambling..time for a survey.
1) Starting Time: 4: 10 a.m.
2) Name: Gina
3) Nicknames: Kitten, Jean, G, Loser
4) School: LeRoy Jr/Sr. High School
5) E-mail: your a stalker, aren't you?fe
6) Eyes: Russia
8) Siblings: Margarita, and then my Step Brother and Step Sister
9) Been so drunk you don't remember? no. dumbass
10) Missed school b/c it was raining? No - but i faked sick to stay in bed on a lovely rainy/thunderstorm day once
11) Put a body part on fire for amusement? yes - im a pyromaniac.
12) Kept a secret from anyone: Yes.
13) Had an imaginary friend? She was very real - you banal jerk - you hurt her feelings.
14) Wanted to hook up with a friend: Hrm - Fuck yes..god yes..mm -smacks self- back to the survey
15) Cried during a Flick? if i told you that i would have to kill you. yes. so i told you now i kill you.
16) Had a crush on a teacher: ewwwww my teachers are all..ewww
17) Ever thought an animated character was hot?: Darned tootin'
18) Had a New Kids on the Block tape: Nope. I'm puerto rican - Menudo was my thing.
19) Prank called someone: Yes..yes. 'hello, this is god, im in your cat'
20) Been on stage? Yessiree Doodly
------------------FAVORITES------------------
21) Shampoo: Anything Aveda
22) Soap: Dial or that Green Irish stuff...yum yum smell GOOD
23) Colors: Purple and erm, purple.
24) Day/Night: Day day DAY yeay SUN!
26) Online smiley face: ^_^
27) Lace or satin: erm..Satin - lace..iiittches!
28) Cartoon Character?: DARIA - or Lain
29) Do you have a boyfriend/girlfriend: Go fuck yourself with a rusted chainsaw.
30) Like anyone? Three anyones..
31) Who have you known the longest of your friends? Margaret.
32) Who's the loudest: Laura or Me
33) Who's the shyest: Adam
35) Who do you cry with: Margaret
36) Why do you cry?: I listen to Emo - bitch, i dont NEED a fucking reason.
-----------------HAVE YOU EVER??-----------------
37) Have you ever cut your Hair?: not on my own - NO - that would mean i was retarded.
38) Been mean: For fucks sake - i hope so.
39) Been sarcastic: Naw.
40) Met someone new: no - i've lived in a bubble all my life.
41) Talked to someone: see 40
42) Missed someone: Thanks for reminding me, ass.
43) Hugged someone: Today actually ^_^
44) Fought with your parents: My mother has fits of what i call 'retard-itis' so of course.
45) Wished upon a star? No - the stars are too busy to listen to my wishes
46) Laughed until you cried: Today.
47) Watched a sunrise/sunset: Yes - and i loved them all.
48) been to the beach at night: Yes - not recently though...
49) Read a book for fun: All books are fun, philistine
50) Ate a meal: No - im also anorexic for FIFTEEN YEARS.
51) Are you lonely: No, not now..
52) Are you happy: yuppity yup. I would like to thank orchid, justin, billy, margaret, john, laura, the world! hah!
53) Are you talking to someone online: Duh
------------------DO YOU BELIEVE IN------------------
54) God/Devil: only the ones in my head
55) True Love: Maybe
56) The Closet Monster: Yup - he's my best buddy
57) The Big Bang Theory: what? you lost me at bang..
58) Heaven/Hell: only the ones in my head
59) Superstition: Damn Skrate son
----------------- BLEH? ------------
60) What is your full name? Gina Isabel Jimenez Kozak
61) Favorite Band/Singers? Rasputina, Bad Religion, Tam.
62) Last time you showered? This Afternoon
63) What is right next to you? A glass, and a bunch of miniature snickers wrappers
64) What is your computer desk made of? Wood..painted white. My moms got issues.
65) What are the last 4 digits in your phone number? 8675309
66) What was the last thing that you ate? Miniature snickers!
67) Where do you want to go on your honeymoon? Sex - oh, where? Greece.
68) Who do you want to spend the rest of your life with? Im 15, i can't pick a haircolour, let alone a lifemate - wierdo.
69) How many buddies do you have on your list? Too many.
70) How's the weather right now? Warm with amazingly clear skies.
71) Have you ever smoked pot? nope. ate it.
72) What did you do last night? Slept with a knife under my pillow thanks to some asshole scaring me shitless.
73) What is your favorite type of shoes? big black clunky boots with funny laces
74) How do YOU eat an Oreo? i like the cream. and only the cream.
77) Favorite food? mmm..Chicken Nuggets.
78) Are you too shy to ask someone out? -blinks- no..-shifty eyes- shaddup orchid. lol.
79) If you could change your name: FRED!!!!!!
80) Have you ever been in love? unfortunately
82) What will your first son's name be? Me? Children, silly silly rabbit - kids are for the sane.
83) First daughter? Fred - but see 82, its not happening.
84) Favorite Drink? Cream soda. So? I like cream, oh fuck off - perverts
85) Do you like scary or happy movies better? confusing.
86) On the phone or in person? In person.
87) Lust or Love? Both baby - i want to have my cake an eat it too - otherwise- whats the point of the god damned cake?
88) Do you consider cheerleading a sport? NO! I taught cheerleading at camp - so NO NO NO!
89) Do you want your friends to do this survey? Yes!
90) Number of candles that appeared on your last birthdaycake: err - i haven't had one of those in years..
91) When is your birthday? April 5th
92) Pets: Fuzzy and Zues
93) Been to Africa?: no no no.
94) Loved somebody so much it made you cry?: lick a razor edged vagina
95) Been in a car accident?: yup...i love them.
96) Favorite Movie: Ghost World - Dogma - The Princess Bride however - will always be number 1
97) Favorite Holiday: Haloween!!!
98) Favorite day of the week: Thursday
99) Favorite Flowers: Orchids - they used to grow wild outside my house when i was little...not 'cause orchids cool..though she is. The favorite flower preceeds the friend.
100) Never been...: kissed properly.
101) What's bed time?:I wait up for the sun..
102) Last Movie you saw? My Big Fat Greek Wedding
103)Time finished: 4:50
quiz stolen from eric!
-gina
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Comments: 1 Stupid-Head - Don't Be Stupid.
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Tuesday, August 27th, 2002
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You know I was about to tell you that I loved you but I stopped right before it came out of my mouth and I'm so glad I did. Love. How hollow that word is. What a low gas mileage vehicle love is. What I feel for you is beyond words. Words fall short. Words get taken into a room and get fucked in the ass by one thousand lonely convicts before they get anywher near what I feel for you. Words get their brains bashed out of their heads and get left in the woods to be eaten by bears so the cops will never find their bodies. I guess I'm really into you. I wish I could sing like that guy in Boston. They rock like fuck.
-Henry Rollins
I know that feeling..jesus fuck christ i know that feeling now.
-gina
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Comments: Don't Be Stupid.
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Monday, August 26th, 2002
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So,
I need to get this off my chest. But i never will. 'cause im like that.
fuck im angry.
fuck it feels good...'cause its for no real reason.
hmm...burn..fire..knives..fighting...violence.
beautiful..really it is.
whats gotten in to me..
-gina
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Comments: Don't Be Stupid.
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Sunday, August 25th, 2002
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Hullo,
so today was...less then a 5 star day, although 5 star events occured, like me finding out Margarita is coming to visit ^_^
i slept two hours..quite an accomplishment for me lately...then i was woken up by a call from Dan, who's coming to visit in about 5 days...my stomach's been doing summersaults ever since..don't know how to handle it..fuckin' a...ah well, i've dealt with harder, this oughta be a piece of cake..
then i called marg for moral support, walked around for awhile with her..i got stuff off my chest..that was all spiff-tacular - ran in to some people i know..it seems the meaner i am to these guys, the more they like me - what the fuck is that.
another thing - why is it when guys drive by girls on the sidewalk, they stop watching where they're going..i noticed this, began screaming 'LOOK AT THE DAMN ROAD' out of anger..s'a great tension reliever..hah, all of 'em checkin' out marg..man..could my mom use ANY MORE PERFUME...ickkity ick..i say - some coconut..mix..ick..how dare they do that to coconut.
anyways..then, smitten boy, i forgot to mention, he's also in a relationship..lovely..i know how to pick 'em..fuck..yea...stupid smitten-nes..
stuopid dan..and me...and dan...fuck..yea..mew?
anyways, im off..
-gina
Nirvana - Rape Me
Rape me
Rape me my friend,
Rape me,
Rape me again.
I'm not the only one (x4)
Hate me,
Do it, and do it again.
Waste me,
Rape me, my friend.
I'm not the only one (x4)
My favorite inside source,
I'll kiss your open sores,
Appreciate your concern
You'll always stink and burn.
Rape me
Rape me my friend,
Rape me,
Rape me again.
I'm not the only one (x4)
Rape me (x9)
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Comments: 1 Stupid-Head - Don't Be Stupid.
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So...ramble.
1.) Sausage is givin' it ta bacon!...porno sausage cum-shot!
2.) i truly fear for denny's.
3.) i WILL throw a tomato at you.
4.) the sun is evil!
5.) i oughta shower
6.) STOP LOOKIN' AT MY ASS.
7.) sleep - who needs it?
8.) hehehe..i love caffine
9.) What are you DOING..you can't HUG someone on a BUS..you FREAK..STOP IT.
so..yea..i dreamt that i was on a bus with Zan..odd 'cause i've never SPOKEN to zan..only senen a pic and heard about 'im from orchid. and then orchid appears next to him..and im all happy
i go to hug her
and zan YELLS At me -sniff-
okay..me going now.
Find
out which tNBC song you are! Quiz by JessieofTR.
yea..sausage sure knows how to put bacon in itz bizzochin' place.
-Gina
-someone PLEASE comment..im just happy out of bedlam-like needs..yes...erm..i loove you?
Jack's Lament
There are few who deny, at what I do I am the best
For my talents are rnowned far and wide
When it comes to surprises in the moonlit night
I excel without ever even trying
With the slightest little effort of my ghostlike charms
I have see grown men give out a shriek
With a wave of my hand and a well-placed moan
I have swept the very bravest off their feet
Yet year after year, it's the same routine
And I grow so weary of the sound of screams
And I, Jack, the Pumpkin King
Have grown so tired of the same old thing
Oh, somewhere dep inside of these bones
An emptiness began to grow
There's something out there, far from my home
A longing that I've never known
I'm a master of fright and a demon of light
And I'll scare you right out of your pants
To a guy in Kentucky, I'm Mister Unlucky
And I'm known throughout England and France
And since I am dead, I can take off my head
To recite Shakespearean quotations
No animal nor man can scream like I can
With the fury of my recitations
But who here would ever understand
That the Pumpkin King with the skeleton grin
Would tire of his crown, if they only understood
He'd give it all up if he only could
Oh, there's an empty place in my bones
That calls out for something unknown
The fame and praise come year after year
Does nothing for these empty tears
that about says it all..pretty much..yea..mew..
-theres battlescars on my face and my arms but you still kiss me anyway.
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Comments: 1 Stupid-Head - Don't Be Stupid.
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So,
Last night i confessed to a sin i did not commit - because i misunderstood, now someone i love hates me - i was confused, whatever..i wish she would listen, she won't argh what she was asking me about, i thought she meant over a year ago..not..the RECENT march...not..and then, she didnt believe me..FUCK...ooh..sucha FUCKING GREAT word..
bah..but thats alright, its not getting me down too badly, i had too great of a night..yes i did..
a boy im beyond smitten with is smitten with me too
and i have a new friend! who's cute..and goes to my school..and says im beautiful..
so, im just all around SMITTEN - Raven rocks my socks by the way..she needs to know she rocks!
so, talked to said beautiful-saying person..and OI! fuck is he cool - better be careful..i might end up liking someone in the same state..
then smitten boy..god..fuck..and i so can't be in arelationship right now..im too screwed up in za head. mew mew?
so..yes..Person who hates me because i confessed to the wrong crime..please..talk to me so i can explain? without you screaming..or saying im sick..yes..dankew...i doubt you read this..moi email
gina@euthanatos.net
i wont send/say shit to you if you dont..talk to me..
so, im off, to talk to people who love me..and and..yes..yeay for brownies..and POI!
do YOU know the nutritional facts about poi? i do now..so neener neener NEENER ON TOAST WITH TAP DANCING CHRIST :-)
-Gina
Cherry Lips - Garbage
She gave you everything she had
But she was young and dumb
She'd just turned 21
She didn't care to hang around
So when the shit came down why she was nowhere to be found
This life can turn a good girl bad
She was the sweetest thing that you had ever seen
You're so such a delicate boy
In the hysterical realm
Of an emotional landslide
In physical terms
With your cherry lips and golden curls
You could make grown men gasp when you go walking past
And in your hot pants and high heels
They could not believe that such a body was for real
It seemed like rainbows would appear
Whenever you came near the clouds would disappear
Because you looked just like a girl
Your baby blues would flash and suddenly a spell was cast
You're so such a delicate boy
In the hysterical realm
Of an emotional landslide
In physical terms
You hold a candle in your heart
You shine the light on hidden parts
You make the whole world wanna dance
You bought yourself a second chance
Go baby go go
We're right behind you
Go baby go go
Yeah, we're looking at you
Go baby go go
Oh ,we're right behind you
Go baby go baby
Yeah, we're right behind you
Go baby go baby
Oh, we're right behind you
Go baby go baby
Yeah, we're looking at you
Go baby go baby
Oh, we're right behind you
Go baby go baby
Yeah, we're looking at you
You hold a candle in your heart
Go baby go go
You shine the light on hidden parts
Go baby go go
You make the whole world wanna dance
Go baby go go
You bought yourself a second chance
Go baby go baby go
Delicate boy
Go baby go baby go
In the hysterical realm
Go baby go baby go
Of an emotional landslide
Go baby go baby go
In physical terms
Go baby go go
Go
Yeah, we're looking at you
Go baby go go
Oh, we're right behind you
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Comments: 1 Stupid-Head - Don't Be Stupid.
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Saturday, August 24th, 2002
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fuck. i really oughta just jump off a biggg biggg cliff. only hurt myself that way.
oh dont post 'but we love you' im just pissed off at myself right now.
-gina
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Comments: 1 Stupid-Head - Don't Be Stupid.
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Tuesday, August 20th, 2002
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So,
insomnia turns me in to a morbid, lonely creature - and makes me wonder why i bother, why i keep breathing, and exactly how i go from day to day without slicing up my tiny little wrists. Honesntly, most days I feel like being swallowed up by my own inner conflict - tre melodramatic - how about next I wear nothnig but black and lace - and talk about death's sweet embrace.
You watch - you wait - if i do that - kill me.
If i died - would any of you care? I mean truly care - i'm not talking about my rl friends - but the people here, on this digital world, the wired - would you care? Would you even bat an eyelash - or does the fact that you've never physically seen me, make me not real - so you could brush it off your concience..sleep easy. It doesn't matter how much I've spilled to any of you does it really? i bet not, how many of you think about anything but yourselves when i need you to confide in . Not many, you can't help it, narcicism is a lovely quality of humanity, one of our finer points, along with lust, and greed, hatred, and bloodlust. When I cry to you, because I unfortunately, sometimes needs to break - your thinking about how cute you looked in the outfit you wore out the other night - aren't you?
I told you, I'm in a morbid mood - maybe I've just watched American Psycho too many times.
Then again - maybe im just fucking nuts, the thought has crossed my mind a few times - it wouldn't surprise me. Maybe my moms psychic, clairvoyant, she sees the future, so thats why she ships me off from shrink to shrink, trying to prevent me from becoming some sociopath...hrm, food for thougt, yes?
You know what emotion I hate? Love - its horrible, it brigns you up, it throws you down, and it controls us.
Not just romantic love - love of any kind - and try as we might - its impossible to erase from our psyches.
And you know me - when it comes to guys - I fall for the worst kind - the scum...I blame society..heh.
But, you know I love you all, because im too god damned nice - most of you could call me a cheap little whore - say the most hurtful things to me - and apologize - of course i'll forgive you - a tourniquet can't hate, now can it?
...I need sleep, ignore the ramblings of a half mad girl, drunk on anger and frustration.
-Love and switchblades in your eye
-Gina
pity this busy monster,manunkind,
not. Progress is a comfortable disease:
your victim(death and life safely beyond)
plays with the bigness of his littleness
--electrons deify one razorblade
into a mountainrange;lenses extend
unwish through curving wherewhen till unwish
returns on its unself.
A world of made
is not a world of born--pity poor flesh
and trees,poor stars and stones,but never this
fine specimen of hypermagical
ultraomnipotence. We doctors know
a hopeless case if--listen:there's a hell
of a good universe next door;let's go
e.e. cummings
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Comments: 6 Stupid-Heads - Don't Be Stupid.
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Saturday, August 3rd, 2002
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So,
i'm back from camp - I never realized it was possible to love a place so much. Three weeks of being a CIT - it was amazing. I love it - and im planning on calling the camp director tomorrow to walk about going back for weeks 6 and 7..because im addicted to the poeple..sitting by the lake..and the calm feeling that i cant seem to achieve anywhere else. There's something about being cut off from all the drama in my life, just clear cut off..for weeks, that makes me so happy - so, summary of stuff that happened at camp, we'll go by weeks.
Week 1
I'm the last girl CIT to arrive at camp, and I find out our first week is just training (meaning all the girl cits are in a cabin together ^_^) and im like 'ugh' walk in to the cabin, and grin like a fool, because a.)i get a top bunk and b.)my best friend (not including shierry...b/c she's a counselor). So, we chill out for awhile in the cabin..there was Me, Meghan, Mandy, Christina, Tracy, and Asiya (fucking wierdo - masturbating herself to sleep every night...uck). Then Mandy and I decide to go check out the guy CIT's and I see Tam...who when i first saw him lying on the porch thing asleep, was beautiful..don't get any funny ideas - its a strictly good friendship deal. Week ` was great..bonded with Mandy, Meghan, Tam..oh the guy Cits were
Tam - the heartbreaker
Will - The Pimp
Ryan - The annoying and occasionaly loveable one
Andy - The Jackass
Tyler - the dumbass
Dan - the cool guy
Joe - Joe..he was only here for a week, but we loved him..Take THAT evil do-ers!
yea...my favourites were Tam, Will and Dan/...heh, Will's a pimp..anyways
remember how I said that I REALLY didnt want to run cheerleading..ell i had to..and i had fun..because the kids in it were great and knew what they were doing..
what else happened week 1...thats worth note..met the CIT director..(my boss) Phil Zickl..i love that man..but god HE NEVER SHUTS UP..and he cracks the WORST jokes
Bonded with Mark Warren too...erm....and thats all for week 1..it was fun..we acted like a bunch of kids..and we'
re encouraged to do so..god i love camp.
Week 2
I got placed in a cabin with Aimee (god squad..who i know from school...unforunately) and Teresa (make up..on..every FIVE GOD DAMNED MINUTES)
the girls in thwe cabin i hated..they were dumb. dumb dumb dumbity dumb dumb.
discovered tams an amazing guitar player..
had him play for our cabin (they all had a crush on him)
discovered i can only really cry when im listening to music. sad music.
its kind of disturbing.
whatelse happened week 2?
a lot of annoying stuff.
why do great guys go for ditzy air headed girls? oh..because they give head right away..-growls-..
i need some physical attention..-mutter-
week 2 ended on agreat note..the dance was hilarious...the cits started a mosh pit..no campers..it was great..okay..the guy CITS and me and meghan..heh
Week 3
I got put in a cabin with Shierry! and a GREAT bunch of girls. Unfortunately God Squad was int he casbin as well..and Asiya in the adjacent cabin, but i was with Shierry, so we just made fun of everybody. What happned interesting..oh..I got much better with patience...learned how to canoe..flip and such..
learned how to turn of my ticklishness..
learned just how strange i am...
last night..thwe dance was great..dance with tam and will...the ones that weren';t goofing off at least..
just 'cause ilove those guys.
not like that...
other stuff
im excessibely depressed right now and I want to go back to camp tomorrow. i would go nand not get PAYED i just want to go back to camp.
Everclear - Normal like You
Yeah they said you called me maybe yesterday
I don't even have the strength to pick up the phone
You wouldn't even know me since you went away
The Prozac doesn't do it for me anymore
Yeah you ought to take your medication every day
Be a good dog, live life in a wonderful way
Tell me why you want to be blind
I don't want to be normal like you
I know now every day
I get closer to the place inside
Where I can be normal too
I heard those stupid people talk about you again
I just have to laugh to keep from hurting bad
Their simple minds just cannot seem to understand
You are neurotic and depressed
It doesn't mean that you're sad
You walk around oblivious to everything
You wear that party dress, black mascara
Like you're queen for the day
I will never be normal like you
You walk around oblivious to everyone
I see you walking slow and simple underneath the big black sun
Tell me why you want to be blind
I don't want to be normal like you
I know now every day
I get closer to the place inside
Where I can be complacent
I get closer to the place inside
Where I can be sedated
Yes I get closer to the place inside
Where I can be normal too, I can be normal too
I can be normal like you
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Comments: Don't Be Stupid.
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Saturday, July 20th, 2002
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So,
todays my day off from camp, I go back tomorrow around noon. I hung out with Laura today - and by hang out i meant she took me around to do errands
thank you laura ^_^
yea..-scratches head- then my day went downhill...just..down..hill.
-sighs and listens to tori amos- im looking forward to getting back out to camp...so i can sit on the longs by the lake..the sun beating down on my back, listening to the lake hitting against the dock, writing letters to people.
not being torn every which way by everyones pain but my own.
..dan called today, it was kind of sad..hah..but yea, he was all cute about bugging me to visit him ^_^...
yea, deppressed, i am...going to go..listen to Tori..and ponder..
any ideas for tattoo's on me?
i want it on my back..either lower..or across my shoulder blades..keep in mind i don't really like much colour..
ideas? designs..submit to the comments section..hah..
yea..going to go stick my head in a vice and twist.
pay special attention to these lyrics...heh..
Tori Amos - Crucify
Every finger in the room is pointing at me
I wanna spit in their faces
Then I get affraid what that could bring
I got a bowling ball in my stomach
I got a desert in my mouth
Figures that my courage would choose to sell out now.
I've been looking for a savior in these dirty streets
Looking for a savior beneath these dirty sheets
I've been raising up my hands
Drive another nail in
Just what God needs
One more victim
Why do we crucify ourselves
Every day I crucify myself
</i>Nothing I do is good enough for you
Crucify myself
Every day I crucify myself
And my heart is sick of being in chains</i>
Got a kick for a dog beggin' for love
I gotta have my suffering
So that I can have my cross
I know a cat named Easter
He says will you ever learn
You're just an empty cage girl if you kill the bird
I've been looking for a savior in these dirty streets
Looking for a savior beneath these dirty sheets
I've been raising up my hands
Drive another nail in
Got enough guilt to start
My own religion
Why do we crucify ourselves
Every day I crucify myself
Nothing I do is good enough for you
Crucify myself
Every day I crucify myself
And my heart is sick of being in chains
Please be
Save me
I cry
Looking for a savior in these dirty streets
Looking for a savior beneath these dirty sheets
I've been raising up my hands
Drive another nail in
Where are those angels
When you need them
Why do we crucify ourselves
Every day I crucify myself
Nothing I do is good enough for you
Crucify myself
Every day I crucify myself
And my heart is sick of being in chains
Why do we ...
... chains ...
Crucify ourselves
Everyday
Never going back again
Crucify myself again
You know
Never going back again to
Crucify myself
Everyday
Put that together kid-dos..hah...
-gina
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Comments: 1 Stupid-Head - Don't Be Stupid.
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So,
Im leaving for three weeks
i'll be back saturdays..but most likely i will be MUCH too sleepy to post anything
except maybe a "grunt"
why?
Im going to be working at Summer camp! EEEE! how cool is that?
people are trusting me with their children.
i can be reached at gina@euthanatos.net
and yea..email me or i'll feel severely unloved.
ooh..man...people keep giving me cool edits of this one pic of myself..yes
thats my fav.
thats me..and i look scary o_0 - the reason they say April Z. Fool - its my alter rp ego...she's scary...
she likes knives like me..mmm..sharp..
then here's another one i did
enough narcicism..
im going to go finish packing and such
on a shitty note - i cant find Dan/Phil's address - laura - do you have? i think i deleted it..i am retarded
do you have it? if so, please save and email it to me..dan withdrawl..heh
-Gina
Our Lady Peace - 4 a.m.
I walked around my good intentions
And found that there were none
I blame my father for the wasted years
We hardly talked
I never thought I would forget this hate
Then a phone call made me realize
I'm wrong
If I don't make it known that
I've loved you all along
Just like sunny days that
We ignore because
We're all dumb and jaded
And I hope to god I figure out
What's wrong
I walked around my room
Not thinking
Just sinkning in this box
I blame myself for being too much
like somebody else
I never thought I would just
Bend this way
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Comments: 5 Stupid-Heads - Don't Be Stupid.
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geeky_punk's journal
horny.
dorky.
sore.
sick.
loved.
angry.
nervous.
drained.
chipper.
pensive.